Patience and peace

I've been feeling fed up all week about how we seem to have a complete lack of patience and peace in the modern world- I see so much vitriol on social media. I am fed up of people demanding things happen NOW, of demanding a change INSTANTLY, to not be able to wait for things to happen logically- just wanting what they want IMMEDIATELY and then getting all huffy and loud if they don't and wanting to pick arguments.  Of not wanting to think about things more carefully and being peaceful about but being aggressive having to make a big show.  Patience and peace are two things I think the modern person has lost sight of. And I am not innocent in all this, I can be impatient and lacking in peace at times but I think being able to reflect on oneself is so important.  And actually being willing to give up a sense of entitlement and just waiting and reflecting, not reacting instantly and being so reactive and demanding about everything.  Maybe I'm talking more about the younger generation- namely teens and young adults though not totally.

Actually,  I see great patience and peace in so many of my blog friends.  Perhaps that is because the majority of my blog friends are older but I've seen great patience and kindness in all of you, and it reminds me that there are so many good people.  And it makes me think that actually Instagram is not the place I want to be spending time because I see so much stropping.  Coming back to blogland is a comfort and a solitude and I want to thank you for your presence.

This morning, after church online, I headed off for a walk by myself. Being back at school has made me, more than ever, want to get out and walk in the wild, and I was feeling anxious about how many things are going on that are making people more angry, more ranty, causing more issues socially, I wanted to head for the localish country park (it's about 3 miles from my house) to get away from it.

As it turned out, it was so beautiful, that I just kept walking and ending up doing a massive circular route, trying to recreate a walk I had done with CBC before, without a map.  I'm trying to work out how many miles I did and I think it might be between 8-12- not sure beyond that as I can't seem to drag google maps onto the fields.  After even just half an hour of walking in the sun and fields with no one around me, I was serene and full of quiet joy.  A feeling that I was with God and his creation grounds me. I forgot about the stress and anxiety about what people will do next and how it will have an impact and I was with the beauty of nature.  Again, I am so grateful that I can walk so easily where I live and even though I saw lots of people on my walk, it really was a walk on my own. I felt safe, I felt content, I felt restored and full of gratitude.

As I reached the carpark in the woods, which spelt the end of the rural section of my walk, probably 2/3 of the way through, I knew I'd have to take the main road as I wasn't sure of the route across the country at this point.  An ice-cream van was parked in the car park and they took bank cards.  I was so delighted and ordered a 99 with a chocolate waffle cone and a flake. It was enormous and utterly delicious. I ate it very slowly (I reckon it lasted me a mile and a half) and reverently and it only served to increase my joy.  My whole walk was around about 3.5 hours in total and I had things to do but I was glad to have the time to be out and walking, plus the sense of achievement that I didn't get lost!

When I was almost home, I walked through the church yard and spent 10 minutes picking nettles to make soup with (I had come prepared with gloves, scissors and a bag).

Back home, CBC was in the front garden and he had drilled together my new birthday planter which we had (worriedly) picked up from the garden centre yesterday.  It was expensive but hopefully we can plant lots of lovely flowers in it to brighten up the front garden.

We had tea and bread whilst joining a Zoom with CBC's family (ended up having some discussion which made the anxiety return again) and then I made nettle soup whilst chatting to my Stepmum and then my Dad on the phone.

I was pleased to see 2 of my tomato plants have germinated so far out of the six of my own saved seeds from last year, I hope they survive this year as most of them died last year! 

Having been to visit a few posts of yours has made the sense of peace come again after feeling anxious earlier.

Sending you all love.

xx

Rainbow bear and Rainbow Smile!

We've all probably seen the rainbows in windows.  These are something we are being encouraged to draw and display in our windows to give children something nice to look out for and count on their daily exercise walks.  It's nice for adults too!

The other thing I've heard about is displaying a teddy bear in the window also so children can go on a Bear Hunt. It's also been a way to show support for much-loved children's author of We're going on a bear hunt, Michael Rosen.

On Wednesday, I decided I wanted to do something for my window.

I wanted to make something out of recycled materials and because I am a bit lazy, I've not managed to put the remaining cardboard from my Phoenix wings into the recycling.

I decided to make a bear holding a rainbow!

I used a Sharpie and colouring pencils to make my rainbow bear.

Yesterday, I wondered what I could have done with my remaining cardboard and decided I would make some rainbow letter bunting.

I tried it out in various windows but decided it didn't sit very well because of the size of my window frames. So I decided to tie it to my front door.

We put the bear in our car window because we couldn't see it very well in the house windows

Here's hoping it makes our Milkman and our Postman smile!

A rainbow has been a sign of peace and hope ever since the times of Noah!

Have you made a rainbow?

xx

Peace which passes understanding.

Are you feeling anxious at the moment?  I wasn't really feeling anxious, as I tend to ignore the news at most times but it reached Friday and I couldn't escape from it anymore. EVERYONE, wherever I was, was talking about the virus.  Teachers, TAs, children, parents, friends, restaurant owners.  I started to feel the fear.  One of the reasons I avoid the news is, as I have realised in recent times, I am a natural worrier when I am left alone to my own devices.  If I am worried about something, it fills my mind, will not go away, no matter what. 

I haven't been to church for a few weeks.  Actually, since the 16th February for various reasons. 
When I went to today, though the focus was on the commandment, "Do not murder,", the anxiety I was starting to feel was really helped as we prayed for our nation, as we talked about trusting in God, as we considered that we may think we are in control but we are so much more fragile than we think and that actually in difficult times, we must depend on God.  We sang 'The Lord's my Shepherd, I'll not want' which I hadn't sung at this church since I've been there and indeed I haven't thought about that song for a while.  But, it is a song I sing and say to myself whenever I'm scared- when walking on high peaks where I am terrified of falling, where I don't know what to do and am worried.  It has always been a comfort.  I felt that peace, which passes understanding, come over me and I knew that this terrible time is a time to show love, to show care if I can, to trust in God, to help people.  I gain nothing through stressing. I gain nothing from worrying.

I came home from church, after chatting to a friend, Darren, who moved to our town a year ago, I walked home with my neighbour, Marianne, and I rejoice in the beauty of the sky, the beauty of the Spring flowers and relished the freedom I felt. We went over to my Mum's and shared lunch with her and walked in a beautiful country park near her and I felt better.  Nothing, but perhaps prayer, prayer, prayer, can change what is going on, but I felt a peace.

It may not last once I am in contact with colleagues again but briefly, it was good.  'The Peace which passes understanding be upon your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.'- I felt that peace.

This is my pause for Lent with Ang et al.

xx

The peace and the stillness

Lent is a time of preparation.  Preparing for Easter.   I've not been the most sensible or thoughtful in preparation for Lent so far.  Somehow, I have had my absolute busiest stretch of life since Lent began.  I agreed to play for 3 different orchestras, plus a choir and a gamelan concert. I've had late-night events with school, I've had and have rehearsals and concerts galore.  And it isn't conducive to preparing for Easter.  As I get busier and busier, I feel the peace ebbing away from me.  Every night last week, with the exception of Friday (and I did go out for dinner and got back after 11pm), I haven't returned home from work or school before 10:20pm. Wednesday night was 1.30am.  Lent is a time of preparation but I've learnt this week, it must have peace. It must have stillness.  There's no time for Jesus, no time for him if I don't actually stop apart from sheer tiredness and sleep.

Don't take on too much in Lent!

"Be still and know that I am God."


I apologise for this being short!  More next week.
x

Being a Peacemaker

It's funny, I have always thought of myself as being a peacemaker but I'm not sure that it is actually true. Sure, I don't want to rock the boat at times but this is more that I don't like a disturbance or upsetting people by saying things. But being an active peacemaker- hmmm, I think I fail to do that.
Take when I am cross about things, I just moan about them. Moan, moan, moan...
That's not being a peacemaker at all.

But at church today, it was one of those services like Songs of Praise where people could nominate their favourite hymn.

Someone chose Make me a channel of your peace which is supposedly a Franciscan prayer.
And they said how appropriate the words were for the current world crises that are occurring.  Doesn't matter your religion or sentiments, the words are something I would strive to achieve, in order for peace to really be true in this world.  If anyone could take objection to these, I would like to know how. They are beautiful aims.


Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me bring your
love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in
you.

Chorus:
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring
hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.

Chorus:

Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal
life.

Chorus:

What does that mean? What can I do:

• To share peace in all situations
• To be someone who sows love in a situation of hatred rather than bitching about it or inflating the ire further.
• To be forgiving in the case of injury.
• Strengthening others in their faith.
• To be someone who takes their time to console others when life is difficult rather than moaning and expecting sympathy for their own difficulties.
• To try and understand others, their situations and difficulties rather than feeling misunderstood by others.
• To wholeheartedly love others rather than seek for others to love me.
• To be the one who brings hope rather than being that harbringer of doom and gloom.
• To be the light in someone's life not to bring sadness or dark to their situations
• To try and be a joy-bringer when people are sad.
• To always forgive
• To pardon others what they have done wrong.
• To give to others rather than taking.

Ah...that sounds the most excellent of ways to be. It sounds hard but that is an ambition it would be good to strive for rather than any job or other achievement.  That is the most excellent of ways- being a true peacemaker.

xxx

Peace

Something rather horrible happened on Friday night. We were travelling on a midnight train homewards from London with a rather unpleasant chap. He started off talking about how he hated Shoreditch because the girls there showed you their bodies but you couldn’t touch them, you just had to pay to look. He then said profanities with every breath, he sat and did a line of a drug and then started verbally abusing, quite violently all the people in the carriage, saying they’d called him all sorts of things (they hadn’t) he threatened women, said he’d smash their face in, screaming in the face of men. As we were reaching my stop, I ended up calling the police as no one else did. It was horrid and it left everyone shaken in the carriage.


It was so hard to know what to say in this situation- I said something along the lines of “It’s Christmas. Please sit down and calm down.” That man needed peace from whatever awful things caused him to be so downright awful- be it the drugs or whatever.
On Sunday, I had to wait an hour on a freezing cold platform waiting for a train that did not turn up without information. I inwardly became angrier and angrier, seething and wanting to be annoyed at someone. I didn’t say anything, except to try and laugh about it with the equally infuriated people around me, as we were all longing to get cross at someone. It took willpower, those feelings were there, we needed peace.


If there’s anything that Christmas and advent teaches me, is the need for peace. I find myself frequently cross/infuriated by things and that peace is something I need. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, which is your choice, his message was, and has always been of PEACE. And that is a GOOD thing. Peace and goodwill towards all people. Peace towards yourself and your situation. Peace with the circumstances. Yes, people around the world have taken the message of Christ and used it to bad intent- they have twisted it, they have used it for violence, they have done things in the name of Christ that they shouldn’t have. But who he is, who is message was, and will be is to bring peace, peace to the world, peace from all that has gone wrong.
I wish you peace and joy and every blessing to your family.
Whatever happens in 2013, whatever trials, anxieties, fears and injustices we face, let’s be reminded of that peace which passes all understanding.


Wishing you a very, very happy Christmas.


With much love,



Kezzie x


This is my Pause for Advent 4 contribution- sorry it's a little late!

All we like sheep!

George Friedrich Handel had a sense of humour.  How could he not have by phrasing 'All we like sheep, have gone astray' in his oratorio Messiah so it sounds like the choir have a penchant for sheep!
(Listen to it here on Youtube.)  It makes me giggle everytime I sing or play in The Messiah!

Anyway, I shall neatly segue from this tenuous introduction, neatly into the main point of this post. 
On Saturday morning in Yorkshire, after a lovely mile walk along the road to Goathland with the dog, we headed off to the Rosedale show.

Now for anyone who has never experienced a country show, it's great fun- there are also vendettas and rivalries to win 'Best carrots' or 'finest ginger cake' and it can upset the apple-cart if a newcomer beats a long-standing winner.  It's always great fun for the non-combatants to giggle at enormous radishes, onions the size of footballs and vegetables anthropomorphised by children! (I am full of admiration for the efforts, which I could not even emulate a whisker of, but still it makes me laugh).

However, this show had something which no other village/county show has ever had which filled me with glee- sheep in abundance!  Big sheep, little sheep, fluffy sheep, bizarre sheep.  There were other animals as well, but this lot are too hilarious to miss!  I still have that yearning ambition to get a photo of me with my arms round a sheep's neck hugging it (like the dog in the picture above).

 This lot were some of the ubiquitous Swaledale sheep.  Hardy and sturdy.

 Old fluffy blotchy face here looks like he would like a cuddle.  No?

 The sheep equivalent of Mr Darcy?  "Tolerable I dare say, but not handsome enough to tempt me!" he seems to say as he snootily shuts his eyes.

 This lady has a decidedly horsey look about her.
"A HANDBAG??????" she declares!

 "I refuse to look at the camera!"

 Check out this lot!  My eyes, my eyes, I am blinded by the brightness!  Who would have thought you could get luminous yellow sheep!

 Look at this beauty, so soft and snuggly- definitely huggable!

 This randy big-horned patriarch fella' was climbing the fence to try and get to the lady-sheep in the next pen.  You can almost hear the Sid-James-esque "Phwoooar!!"

 Er- Alien sheep?  What a strange appearance!  Apparently these guys can grow up to 6 pairs of horns!  Less is more, mate!

 At least he has friends!

 The strange orange-billed sheep.  Hold on?  That's not a sheep!

 This fellow appears to have Ford Focus steering wheel horns!

 Squish!  Look at this fluffy nose!

She's got hair just like Goldie Hawn!

 This lady is pretty!  Definitely a picture-book sheep.

 There were also lots of other animals/livestock including these wonderful cows!

 We watched the Shetland pony, shire horse and mother and foal competitions too.

 Onto the non-living classes, check out these carrots!  Well on 30cm long each!!!!

 And these monster onions!

 I loved the Jubilee theme of this cake class!

After a lovely picnic and buying a few Christmas presents (I am organised!), we drove back to Goathland to the village flower and vegetable show. The same sort of idea, but on a much smaller scale.  We nervously awaited the results of the Quiche and biscuit classes, as J had entered her own ones into them...

 You can see me beside the sign...

 And to our intense delight, she had won first prize for both her quiche AND biscuits!

 I liked this floral arrangement!!! Very Kezzie!
We enjoyed an enormous cup of tea each and 2 cakes and then R and I walked to the village stores to get an ice-cream.

If you ever watched Heartbeat on TV, you will recognise this as the Aidensfield stores.

 R and I started to walk back along the road to the house whilst J and C waited for her quiche (after the prize awarding).
I did TRY to persuade this sheep to have the aforementioned photo taken with me, but I don't think she was too impressed.

 She had 4 legs so easily evaded me!

We actually ended up walking the 2 miles home!

We then walked the dog another 3 miles round the Roman Road.  The weather was so perfect today.

For dinner, we set off for the lovely fish and chip shop in Sleights. Fresh fish from Whitby was delicious!

When we came back, I went out into the garden and read my book on the swing, rocking contentedly revelling in the peace and quiet after a wonderful, jam-packed countryside day.

 Look at my surroundings.  Not a sound except for the varying pitched bahs of a myriad sheep. I feel priveleged to enjoy such experiences with my dear friends.  C used to be the vicar of my Church and I miss him and his wife J who were such good friends and a support through all my PGCE angst and their daughter, who despite the 8 year age gap, remains a really good friend.

Are you going to Scarborough fayre?

 There are big waves and little waves,
Green waves and blue,
 
Waves you can jump over
Waves you can dive through.

Waves that rise up
Like a great water wall.
 
Waves that swell softly
And don’t break at all.

 
Waves that can whisper
Waves that can roar


 And tiny waves that run at you.
Running on the shore.

(There are big waves and Little waves by Eleanor Farjeon.  From High Low Dolly Pepper)

I haven't paddled in the sea for at least 2 years. Having a picnic with my friends after church on the South Beach in Scarborough was beautiful.  R and I had great fun jumping over the waves.  Somehow we ended up too far out and managed to get our bottom halves completely soaked! I thought of that poem as we played.   The morning began with the long but beautiful drive from Goathland to Scarborough for the morning service at St Mary's, Scarborough, a beautiful, friendly church that was also in a gorgeous building   

 I've never shared any pictures of loos on my blog before, but I had to say, I was highly amused when I er- visited the establishment.  Quite possibly the most historical one I have ever come across.

 And this in the sink area.

Despite it not being a roasting hot day, the beach was perfect in Scarborough.  It was very spacious and empty apart from a few families.  We ate prize-winning quiche, sandwiches, jam tarts, apples, crisps and drinks (with Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog ;-) )

 The view of the ruins of Scarborough castle made for a picturesque view as did the lovely coloured Georgian-looking houses and hotels.

 C located a crab!

 Some pretty rainbow beach-huts could be seen from afar.  This beach is less commercial than the North beach so it was perfect for us.

I felt like a child again.  That could almost have been Kirrin castle there!