The lovely Youth worker at my local church gave a brilliant talk for the sermon today. She was talking about Jesus feeding the four thousand (and yes, I do mean the 4000, he did this after the 5000). In Matthew's gospel, Chapter 15, Jesus has travelled to the mountainside, followed by the lame, blind and all those who are ill and need and he takes the time, three days in fact, to heal them. Imagine it, three days of constantly looking after other people with very little break. And yet he did it, he gave his time and willingly. At the end of the time, three days later, probably totally knackered, when he thought about those people, despite his own probably tiredness and need for solitude, his first words to his disciples were: "I have compassion for these people..." and then he worked that miracle, feeding all 4000 thousand of them with 7 loaves and a few fishes.
She also pointed out that this is the only miracle that features in all 4 gospels. Why? Because it is important to us, a model we can follow, an ideal we can aspire to and lead us to action. Jesus as our model for action to help others! (incidently, we did all 141 of us in church, end up with a chocolate egg in the service, even though she only had 20 in her bag 2 seconds before...Miraculous!!!!)
Compassion is that which compels us to do something for someone else, motivated by a sincere desire to take them out of their current problematic situation or difficulty. Yet compassion takes courage and effort and motivation to fulfill the thought/urge. It's no good just simply thinking about it, you have to DO something about it! Even if tired, even if I don't want to, even if I am afraid, I must do something about it. And yet, I fail to do so on occasions.
I thought about any situations I have faced this week requiring compassion. I had a difficult situation at school to sort out, needing to talk to a student who had been incredibly rude to me, and I was supported in this by our learning mentor who supports children with behaviour issues. She's amazing, and really knows how to clearly speak into a situation. I get muddled, I am not the most coherent person verbally, if speaking without notes in formal situations. At the end, she said she needed to speak to the pupil's Mum, as she'd promised to tell her what we had discussed. We had run into her lunchbreak and she got called into deal with an incident in a class. She sighed and I felt compassion for her and how overworked she was. It was HER lunchbreak and she had helped me to talk to my student. At which point, I offered to phone the parent. She said not to worry about it, as I had my time out of class now and she said she'd do it. I said was she sure? She replied, "It's fine, not unless you want to,". This was my cue, I should have assured her, reassured her and phoned the parent and I wanted to. But I fell into my own insecurities about speaking coherently to explain and I somehow didn't take it up. I kicked myself as she phoned and oh how I wished I had taken that opportunity to lighten her burden. But instead, I chose to give in to my insecurities. And then I regretted it all day.
Another situation, is the one I have been feeling heavy-hearted about all week. It is to do with my Grandad. He's very old and he's not well. I have been really worried about it and I have been so angry with myself for being so wrapped up in my life in recent times and the last 2 years that very seldom have I made regular visits to see him. This is no excuse, but a simple admission of guilt- when I am busy as I invariably am, I just can't see past what's in front of me. I phone him and when I speak to him, I feel compassion, pity and a love for him but unless I do something straight away, then I fall back into absentminded forgetting. This Wednesday, I spoke to him and realised that he was still unwell like he has been for the last month. I cried a lot and I spoke to my Dad, weeping down the phone, how could I call myself a Christian, if I couldn't even make the time for my own precious Grandad. I determined that NOTHING must make me lapse into absentmindedness or wrapped up in myself and I must go and see him.
Thursday went on, and of course I got wrapped up in work, everything went out of my mind as it always does and then it was about 5.30pm, I was just going to put up a display when I realised/remembered and my heart prompted me to action. If I am honest, I felt tired and my head said I wanted to go home. But no, my heart said go. I phoned him, and he said that I could come round. I spent an hour and a half there till after 8 before he said I should be getting home. But those 1.5 hours were so precious. Somehow, despite not really wanting people to come round, he doesn't mind me, perhaps because I am so messy and scatty. I made him laugh and smile despite his being tired and not well and he sincerely said, "Thank you for coming," and I knew he really appreciated it. He's a man of few words.
And for me, the lesson of this was, if compelled to act by compassion, Action must be instant, where possible or it won't happen. As I walked down the street, I gave thanks to God for giving me that time, that free evening to use, for him being up to seeing me, I gave thanks for that guilt that made me take action- because I don't want to know I would have felt, had I not gone round. I shouldn't even need to feel guilt, I should by default, have been there with my Grandad.
I don't know how you feel when you are approached by those charity workers in the street who seek to sign you up for regular donations? There are a good proportion of them who are really annoying and quite aggressive in their marketing. I am always willing to talk to them if I have the time even if I don't sign up (and I haven't on many occasions). A lot of times, they ask you to sign up at the time, and many people don't like that, it does feel like being forced into something (I agree). Perhaps you want to prayerfully consider it first? But for me, unless it's one that I have sat down and considered without being approached, I have often signed up on the spot. Because I know what I am like- absentminded and forgetful. But there is often a feeling of compassion, that I do believe is God-prompted, to sign up, that this is something that I need to do. For me, I must Do something NOW! A while back, I actually ended up signing up for an organisation called
Compassion- in Jesus' name which is an organisation that allows you to sponsor a child and you send and receive letters regularly. As I stood there in the wet-sodden field, speaking to this man, (who was a volunteer because he felt so compelled to support this organisation) I felt compelled to sponsor the child he showed me. The way he spoke about the organisation, I knew he really cared about it and knew I wanted to care about it too. As I agreed, the guy had tears in his eyes. He revealed to me I had been the only person all day in the pouring rain, who had signed up and he'd come from Kent for the day to do this and he was just about to leave to get home when I'd come up. As he said to me, "And now you have a little boy," I also had tears in my eyes. I remember thinking that I somehow prefer girls in life- I always find them easier to understand, but I am so glad I have this little boy in my life. And that brings me to another point- Jesus didn't have preferences- he just helped who needed help- he gave compassion to all those he met. Universal compassion.
So, this is a rather longwinded way of saying it, but my aim through Lent is to open my heart, feel compassion and act on it, regardless of how tired or unwilling I feel. I don't know that I will succeed or will find it easy but with Jesus as my model and support, rather than me just doing of my own volition, surely I can succeed.
And finally, I have a question for you: Can I pray for you? Is there anything you need support for, no matter how small or trivial you might think it is? I would be glad to pray.
Here's the reading from this morning if you want to read it:
"Jesus Feeds the Four Thousand
29 Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee. Then he went up on a mountainside and sat down. 30 Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them. 31 The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
32 Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.”
33 His disciples answered, “Where could we get enough bread in this remote place to feed such a crowd?”
34 “How many loaves do you have?” Jesus asked.
“Seven,” they replied, “and a few small fish.”
35 He told the crowd to sit down on the ground. 36 Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. 37 They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 38 The number of those who ate was four thousand men, besides women and children. 39 After Jesus had sent the crowd away, he got into the boat and went to the vicinity of Magadan."
Matthew 15, 29-39
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