6 More girl things I am not good at.

Wow, my last post on 5 girl things I cannot be bothered with was rather popular! I adored all the comments you lot left, making me feel SO MUCH BETTER that I am not alone in my ennui regarding such beautifying pursuits! I read this book set in New York and I cannot believe the suffering people go through in the name of 'beauty'/

The comments prompted me to consider other beauty/sartorial rituals and choices that I don't and DO do.

1.  Moisturising my body:
Moisturising my face-yes!. I have done this pretty much consistently since I was was a teenager. Don't ask me why, but I have done. I think it is because the face is small and can be moisturised whilst reading/holding a book in the other hand.  Body moisturising, on the other hand, is an entirely different kettle of fish. It takes soooooooooooooooooo long!!! I have terribly dry skin and CBC despairs of me constantly scratching when I get into bed , (the middle bit of back where underwear catches rub is my constant nemesis. CBC came into the bedroom the other night where I was standing looking in the mirror whilst simultaneously attempting to reach the middle of my back with a hairbrush to relieve a particularly vexing itch and just told me I was weird.  The trouble is, I have two lumpy moles on my back which I am scared I will scratch off in my itching frenzy, so I need to be careful! Hmmm, I got right off the subject of Body moisturising didn't I?!  Tangental deviations, be gone! Yes, so I DO occasionally moisturise my body, well, maybe my legs and a bit of arm and feet, but it generally occurs on a lazy Saturday morning every so often.

2.  Skyscraper heels:
My lovely friend Charlene from church was the ultimate fashionista- she worked in fashion and she just, wonderfully, rarely, happened to have the same size 8 feet as me.  She used to wear shoes of such terrifying heights that I wondered how she remained upright.  They looked very elegant and her calves looked like they were made of marble. But the one time I tried to try some on, I physically could not get my foot at the necessary angle to get the foot in the shoe.  Nope, I lost my balance and when I finally grasped a nearby iron radiator for dear life, promptly got cramp in the heel of my foot from the effort of trying to thrust my foot into said shoe.  No, high heels are not for me, I am afraid. I would be likely to topple like a building, post-wrecking ball.

3.  Foundation. 
Confession....I wonder if I look at things properly. I worry that I wouldn't be able to tell if this were streaky or I'd missed any patches. I do look at some of my flawless colleagues (some... most of us can't be bothered!) and the immaculate Essex-ladies on the train in the mornings and think how smooth and lovely they look but I barely manage to haul myself out of bed, shower and put my clothes on and make the train in time, let alone do makeup.  Some of the ladies sit and do makeup on the train but I would rather read my book, drink tea if I am lucky enough to have run to the kitchen and made a quick cup AND picked it up and eat a snack.  Also, invariably, I am a sweating wreck by the time I get to the station. I imagine foundation would slide off my skin, I would wipe my face and be all smeared.  Now, if I am going out somewhere, have got time AND have managed to locate my makeup bits and pieces, I will put on Yves St Laurent Touche Eclat Concealer on the bags of doom under my eyes. I might also put on some really ancient Eye liner or some sparkly Urban Decay eye shadow but that's it.  Sorry Foundation- I am sure you are amazing, but I am scared of you and lacking time!  Plus, I don't want the Joanna Lumley effect where when people see you WITHOUT your makeup, they think you look horrendously ill! I'd much prefer to look better for a special occasion!

4. Mascara
I used to wear this as a teenager for parties.  But I have really weird eye-lashes.  My good-eye, the one I can see out of, when you put mascara on (if I can get it on without blinking and spreading it all over my face), the eye-lashes are all obedient and stick upwards most prettily. But my bad eye, the one which I can't see out of?  Those eye-lashes are bizarre- I do (or rather DID, haven't done it for years!) exactly the same manoeuvre as on my good-eye and then the eye-lashes stick downwards.  I tried curlers to no avail. So, I won't bother.  It ends up falling off under my eyes anyway and it makes my eyes water.

5. Fake tan
I like being pale and interesting. Pale says to me, I care about not getting skin cancer. I don't mind being pale (although I do tan naturally). There are many orange people in the towns around where I live and on the trains into work.  I went to school with orange people. I don't want to be one of them!

6.  Looking smart for a long haul flight.
I get the whole, Try for a free upgrade by looking smart. But inevitably, I want to be comfy, slobbing around in loose clothing that won't make me sweat! Loose trousers and saggy vest top it is!

Disclaimer.  This is all about ME. If you do any of the above and enjoy it, good for you! I won't judge anyone and I admire the people who can manage their time and look good whilst getting everything they need to get done. However, I am not that girl. I am chaotic, last-minute, a bit lazy and would rather read my book or snooze for a bit longer than do any of these rituals!

What about you? How are you on these 'girl things?'

xx