From the depths to the heavens

Hey there,

I hope you are well.  I had a day of extremes today.  I had one lesson with a notoriously bad class where, believe it or not, I ended up crying. In. Front. Of. The Children.  Naturally, this is not something I would want to do.  But yes, a class with 7-8 year olds in it made me cry. The combined low level disruption of about 9-10 children (all boys) cumulatively, over the year has worn me down. But, what was it that made me despair.  It was the nice children.  I had just had a massive rant at this despicable class- some of whom are utterly dire.  And, as I always do, when I have had to tell off a class, I always apologise to the nice kids and tell them that it isn't them and I am sorry. As I looked at one particular child and told her that it wasn't her and it had never been her, her gentle look and nod of acknowledgement just got to me.  Whenever I see now-adults or celebrities who talk about their school days and how teachers didn't understand them and how they always got into trouble, I just want to say to them- "Do you realise how much the nice kids suffered under your reign of selfish disregard for the feelings of others.".  It's always the nice ones who suffer.  In all honesty though, I hope that it shocked them.  I pointed to the tears and told them that they had done this and it had to change which left them in absolute silence. I was given hugs and apologies from many (though not the worst two..)
And from ending that lesson with a dire warning that they were on their last chance, I went from class to fetch 45 children who form my recorder clubs who were performing at our local area's Recorder Festival.  And they did me proud.  43 turned up in the evening and they played their solo, Sharks and Lions, magnificently and their behaviour was pretty good. One or two of the boys who were playing were also very difficult when they were in year 3 but they performed beautifully- one of the worst one's (last year- he's improved a lot this year, esp since being in recorder club) Mums came up to me and told me it was wonderful and how highly he speaks and me and it reminded me.  Things can change.  My job is incredibly challenging on occasions as that lesson proved. But my day was redeemed by those other children who had worked so hard and performed so well later on.  Everything is redeemable.  There is nothing that cannot be saved.

For the record, if you are of the praying sort, please pray for the class I mentioned... they need it.

But I will not give in to despair.  I say it again... there is nothing that cannot be saved. Tomorrow is another day.

x