Thank you for your kind sympathy on my last post. I confess to having cried about 4 times today and feeling utterly miserable about the whole situation since it may last 1-2 years, I've found out. When I thought it might be a term or so, I was able to think, "This will not be long.", but now I feel hopeless. I won't be able to do properly, any of the things that make my job a joy and do all I want for the children and I just want to give up. BUT, I have had some kind colleagues who have been really supportive (and unfortunately one who I have been fuming about all day... young upstart who needs to stop thinking that she is better than everyone and do her damn job instead of preening, posturing and pretending she's doing it and looking down on people with years or experience just because they are old or don't conform to her image of what someone you should respect looks like. Rant over. Moving on.) and sympathy and as I keep saying, everyone is in a difficult situation in different ways which we are going to have to deal with and we have to do the best we can... I'm just worried I won't be able to do my best for the children after a year of difficulty, but I will do the best I CAN. And I keep remembering that I have a home and a job and I am not in a war-torn country facing the machinations of an evil government who want to suppress all that I am, unlike the millions I and we have all been worrying about for the last month or so. It's just a job and I will do the best I can. However, I am going to offer my own advice to those who say, "My problems are not as bad as what others are facing." When they say that, I say, "Yes, but these are your problems and what you are facing and they are difficult for you right now and whilst it is good to be practical about other people's problems, it's still ok to be worried and upset about them, because they are what you are feeling."
Anyway, onto something more positive before I cry a 5th time.
Here's another permutation of the rainbow dress.
I wore the dress backwards with a charity-shopped turquoise cardigan and my rainbow earrings made from plastic straws, bought from Lorelai LQ. I added my Nan's floral necklace and wore a scruffy old pair of Toms shoes.
Keep going Kezzie. Be bright and beautiful
ReplyDeleteColour Therapy! It really works! You look amazing in this lovely dress, and how clever to turn it around for a different look.
ReplyDeleteI get that - we have to shift our perspective to one of gratitude for what we DO have. I get in the same headspace, and I often need to step back and take a breather. Your young colleague is likely hiding a lot of fear and anxiety behind her imperiousness. Not being in control can be very hard for some of us!
Sheila is right: colour therapy definitely works, and wearing something that makes you happy will make you feel infinitely better.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear the situation as work is even worse than you thought it would be, and I totally understand your feelings of anxiety and helplessness. It's good to hear you've got some lovely colleagues though. Don't let that young upstart get to you too much! xxx
Sorry you have such limitations to your desire to give the children the best you can offer, but the very fact that you care so much means that you will find ways to make it all work. I believe that the quality of the teacher, her or him self is paramount in creating a safe and inviting place for learning.
ReplyDeleteYour students will remember this pandemic in positive ways when they know that you care. Who knows what innovations in teaching you will come up with to meet the challenges? (((Hugs)))
I just commented on your last post then I came and saw this. 1-1-2 years isn't a long time. I'm glad you've got some nice supportive colleagues who made you feel a bit better. Hopefully something can be sorted out sooner even if it is only a temporary solution.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I forgot to say the dress looks lovely as always. You're very clever always wearing it in different ways.
Delete"I'm going to wear something happy for work tomorrow."
ReplyDeleteAn excellent idea and you look great in it.
All the best Jan
Hello Kezzie, I have just read your previous post regarding your school space upheavals. You are right, you can only do the best you can. Sometimes, a good rant is very satisfying too (I remind monsieur that I just like to get things off my chest and I'm not necessarily looking for a 'fix' that doesn't exist!)
ReplyDeleteYour love, care and dedication for your music teaching will shine through. Children are very adaptable, and often focus on a smiley face or a happy outfit. I adore your rainbow dress, earrings and whole outfit. It certainly brings a smile to my face :) Lulu xXx
I'm sorry to hear that the situation might last. I think it is normal for you to feel stressed about it because you are the kind of teacher that really cares about her job and wants the best for the kids. It's not for yourself that you're worried but for the quality of education that the kids will going to get. I know the feeling. Sometimes I feel like almost nobody really thinks about the kids anymore. School should be a safe environment for them and basic things should be available. There are always difficulties and unexpected events, but I feel that often all the burden seems to fall on the back on teachers, they are forever expected to improvise and spend their all free time adjusting to the changes, it just doesn't seem fair, does it?
ReplyDeleteI like the advice you've given and taken for yourself- "I am going to offer my own advice to those who say, "My problems are not as bad as what others are facing." When they say that, I say, "Yes, but these are your problems and what you are facing and they are difficult for you right now and whilst it is good to be practical about other people's problems, it's still ok to be worried and upset about them, because they are what you are feeling."
It think that sums it up well. Other people's problems might put ours into perspective, but we are not robots, it's normal to feel worried and stressed at times.
You look beautiful in your rainbow checkered dress!!!
I really dislike it when people say ‘others have worse worries and problems’, it belittles what a person is feeling and we all have a right to feel and be heard and supported. I know you’ll do your best, but remember you can do anything but not everything. Do what you can, but take care of you too xx
ReplyDeleteI can't offer any more advice than others have already done - but I think that your attitude is probably the best for getting through this difficult time. And you will probably adjust to the "new normal" quite quickly, if only because you have no choice! God be with you.
ReplyDeleteI totally hear what you're saying here, Kezzie. I too have had to deal with what I call "little stuck-ups" (one in particular in my personal life and is the main reason why I quit my church; very loooong story there).
ReplyDeleteI call these kinds of people "real life trolls", who basically annoy people in person as opposed to their more cowardly Internet counterparts.
But no, Kezzie. You can make it. We all can. We have the support of our families and friends (both in person as well as online) and we can make it through this pandemic! I look forward to the day when I no longer have to hear those damn words "social distance" again. Ugh.... I've always hated how people have misused those words...
But anyway, I really like what you said about realizing that there are people who have worse problems than ourselves going on, but in the moment, the problems we're facing are still our problems and shouldn't be minimalized. I go through this all the time. I have a lot going on right now at home but I often feel guilty as I know that there are people out there suffering far worse than me. But it doesn't always help me deal with, or even face my own problems at the moment. It's okay to still be worried about what we're all dealing with on a personal level.It's not that we don't care about those around us. It's just difficult to focus on the rest of the world AND deal with our own issues at the same time. I totally get this! Thanks, Kezzie! Reading your post really helped me. I had been crying this weekend as well on what's been going on, so reading your post really helped me. Thank you!
I really like your outfit! The rainbow colors suit you so well because you're such a bright and positive person! Great job! :)
That's a glorious outfit and Sheila is so right, colour therapy is real.
ReplyDeleteI'm behind on blog reading so I'm not sure what it is that's upsetting you yet but it's good to have a cry and a rant and get things off your chest. xxx