Change: a pause for advent

I came to a recent realisation over the last couple of weeks.  I am not keen on change.  So many aspects of my personality and life are based on that.  I have lived in the same place for nearly all my life apart from 2 individual years elsewhere.  My best friend at senior-school and I stopped being friends for a couple of years and in retrospect, I realise it was because she was changing, growing up, and I didn't want to- she wanted to be popular and the such-like, she wanted to be grown-up and I didn't.  I have been in the same teaching job since I began my career and I like it there.  But I know that I may have to move at some point if CBC gets a job elsewhere, or that it's healthy to move on at some point.  But the thought is scary for me.   The same with getting married- I've got used to living alone.  It took a long time to get used to it- when living alone in Bali and when my Mum moved out- I missed her like crazy when she wasn't there, even though she spent a lot of time in her room, wanting to escape me (our house is small, it can feel claustrophobic) but now I've done it for a long time. It'll take a long time for me to get used to it.  Part of me still wants to be young- I am still that 12 year old in my head but whilst I still can and need to 'be like a child', I do need to grow.

When talking to our former vicar about getting married and saying marriage seemed scary and grown-up, in the kindest and gentlest possible way, he said to me, "But, Alexander the Great conquered the world when he was 23- you are much older and you have to grow up at some point." It made me think.

I've been thinking about change all week, having made this realisation.  So it was rather funny that the sermon that our vicar gave today was about change.   He said
The Christian life is all about change.  You can't stay the same always.  No Christian life does that. God says, My grace is sufficient for you. That will be the one thing that doesn't change. His grace is, was, will be.

Lent is a time to change- to reflect, to look forward, to be anew and it is important to realise that- it's not just about giving up the crisps (in my case!) or the moaning (I have been failing with this one this week.  I have not enjoying being with me).  Lent is a great thing because it causes us to reflect. When was it ever a bad thing to reflect on your life, conduct, behaviour and usefulness if you do it in  a positive way? God cannot use you if you constantly look back.  One cannot afford to keep looking back on the past.  Paul endured beatings, pain, torture and more during his ministry- if he had kept looking back at the past, he wouldn't have been of use to anyone.  It's more important to live a life that is a blessing to others.

When facing change, there's alwasy enough Grace to sustain us through it- He will give us strength, courage and wisdom.  I wish I could say that I will always remember that as I go through, I might not, I might panic, get stressed, tired, anxious and not react well to change, be a complete grump and stress-ball like I have been this week, but I know He is there, if I trust in him and spend time with him, finding what is his will, then I will make it through the change.

If you click through on the picture, you will find your way to see the other pauses in Lent!
God bless and hugs to you
xx