Forget me not

What do you think about having a lasting legacy? 

Do you feel that you must leave a mark upon this world? Do you want people to remember you long past your demise?  Do you feel that we must leave a legacy or are you happy to have led a contented, quiet life?   I was contemplating this thought  and whilst I like the idea of having made an impact in this world in some way, big or small, I would never want it to become some sort of ego trip about me but rather doing some good and being contented by this.  Some people have children to leave a legacy,others like to leave lasting concrete memento that people remember them by.  

This thought came about because of the rather beautiful Forget-me-nots I saw growing last week at camp.  Thanks for those of you that asked about it.  Actually it was arctic in terms of temperatures up there and in the flute section, we spent most of the six hours of rehearsals on Saturday shivering in about 5 jumpers, passing a hot water bottle between the 3 of us and shuddering every so often as it seemed like the temperature was interminably dropping. Musically, it was a delight. Apologies, I digress!

Amidst all that cold, rain and cloud, a haze of almost ethereal blue flanked the bed outside the main barn and was a delightful distraction from the bitter cold as one went to pay a call of nature (yes, you had to make a walk along a path to reach the facilities)

I wonder why such a small and fairly innocuous-looking flower received the name, Forget me not. In terms of the hierarchy of flowers I've seen, they are perhaps not the most memorable compared to other more ebullient and vibrant specimens that are regularly seen. Surely, you might forget them?

But perhaps their fairly benign appearance is a lesson in life.  That perhaps, what makes something or someone memorable is not their being the most flamboyant or gregarious of individuals but rather, the small, less showy, consistent one will be the one who is remembered.  Why? Because they are constant, loyal and in their way, will always remain in hearts and minds because of being humble but always present.  True beauty can be found in the most humble, self-effacing people those who don't dance in our faces making their presence know but those who quietly, contentedly plod along the path with us, ready to illuminate and lighten our paths when we need it.

Wishing you a memorable weekend.

xx

Stop the world, I want it to go slower!

I have come to a realisation in recent times. I like a steady pace. I like things that don't change, things that plod along and don't need to cause anxiety.  I like walking to work because I can take it at my own pace. Lovely CBC taught me to cycle when we first started going out- he succeeded where others had failed.  I experienced many delightful miles of cycling with him and friends building up to cycling the London to Brighton cycle race in 2010, all 52 miles of it, a year after I started cycling. Yet in all that time, in all the subsequent cycling expeditions, not once have I enjoyed the fast downhill ride.  I adore the flat, the sailing along on a country road. But when I have to go fast, I feel out of control and want to put the brakes on.   It does drive CBC a bit mad at times when he has to wait for me to catch up because I've been cautious going downhill. I've probably irritated a myriad drivers who have had to hover behind my pace or rage around me.

I've not learnt to drive and I worry that if I did, I would find it really hard to go fast, make those split second decisions needed, not to panic and to be able to make those calls.

In the picture above, my two sisters and I had taken my niece to the Adventure playground in Southend. We each took it in turns to accompany her on a ride.  You can see how I felt about that up and north fast ride from the genuine disgruntled expression on my face.

I wonder: is it wrong to want to be in the slow lane?  Should I aim to be brave and try and take things on, metaphorically and literally that need me to go fast?  Should I aspire to escape my scaredy cat ways. I have tried through my life to do this- outdoor pursuits courses, I was always scared by things that you had to go fast in- didn't really enjoy absailing, climbing, pony-trekking.  But pot-holing, going slowly through dark caves, not being able to see in front of me, not having to face great heights, I felt safe, calm, you can't speed when potholing, you have to go safely and surely. I'd love to go again.


I don't know where I'm going with this, but I'd love your perspectives on this, if you can see through all the mire of my waffle to the point I'm trying to make. Are you a slow scaredy cat like me or are you the fearless, intrepid adrenalin junkie? Or something in between.

Now this sedate car was more my thing...

xxx

One day like this

You know sometimes you have a day where you are so busy, so rushed off your feet, but somehow it is a day that makes you exhilarated,joyful, glad to be alive, efficient, working well and being generally jubilant.

So it was this Wednesday.

I'd stayed up ridiculously late the night before trying to finish off my Christmas song for this year, input it into Sibelius and record it to use to introduce it to the children.  If you haven't heard me mention this before, I have aimed to compose one Christmas song for our Christmas production at school pretty much most years and I aim to have a complete nativity story in song form after 10 years of teaching.  Perhaps next year (the start of my 10th year of teaching), I may get the children to perform an entire nativity of my making?

I always start off the Christmas singing assemblies with my song as usually it is not quite a conventional song and needs a bit of an introduction.
This morning, I said that I wanted to teach them 2 songs in Singing assembly -'Join in our story' and the 3 wise kings song(not by me). In the 20 minute session, I achieved this- the kids seemed to really like it. If you write a song, you can feel inwardly dismayed if they don't seem to connect with your song.  In addition, taking my year 4's round the school as wandering Tudor minstrels, they really enjoyed it and performed and behaved pretty well considering they were essentially roaming round the school!

Lunchtime, I only got about 2 minutes to eat a toasted muffin with butter but managed to do a large amount of photocopying.  The afternoon, managed to get the year 3's to play a fun notation game (invented on the spot!) and enjoyed a String recital given my 3 teachers who taught me when I was a child (I almost got roped into play viola last minute as the 4th player was late!)  Choir after school was really focused, we learnt our first 2 part solo song well and then I managed to record practice tracks for the kids to put on my school blog for all the harder Christmas songs.  One kid who has joined choir has really blossomed and I could see this joy in his eyes as he realised and believed that he was good at singing (he lacks confidence greatly) and was managing to lead and hold quite a complicated harmony line as we sang. It was a JOY for me to see him grow in confidence and sing his little heart out.  It is reaching and helping to grow this type of child that is the thing that really touches my heart as I teach. I hope that he will stay the whole year in choir as there will be a whole wealth of experiences for him- singing at the Royal Albert Hall, London (I can imagine his reaction now!). Just thinking of him now, my heart soars with pride at his singing today!

It was one of those days too where I was bombarded by children everywhere calling me stopping me as I ran across the playground 10 times going from one task to another, it's funny that though I am not a person who has a maternal instinct, it's different having this whole family of hundreds of children. It was a day where I was creative and happy.

I will never be that succinct, eloquent blogger who manages to promote and produce a million short and useful posts over the years, growing in the ranks, being respected many places over and being that blogger that keeps and maintains a smooth, consistent programme.   I will never be that catchy, 'I must follow this person-they are one to watch' writer or I will never be in a niche or be one thing to all people that seek that one thing.  I have, always been, a jack-of-all trades, master of none (I was told that in an audition once that perhaps I took too much on and I was in danger of becoming that if I didn't stop starting new instruments.).  I need to be this bohemian, hippy-like, yet rather prudish at other times, conventional, yet unconventional, totally predictable yet sometimes-not, waffler who writes about things that don't interest you, yet you are kind and comment positively despite this.

Because, this place here, is a place I can spill out moments and days like this, I can share these happy moments and immortalise them in a place that I can go back and cherish.  I love to write this stream of consciousness, chaotic and unclear though it is, because it is the essential me. Chaotic, messy, wonderfully me!!!

Each one day like this one, where I feel alive, feel I want to tell the world that I Had A Good Day- may they be a treasure in my increasing years and dotage!

Do you have these days?
xxx

Don't take care, take risks

Today, I had to get up at 7.30am in order to be at church for band practice!  Man, that was early! Luckily, CBC had to help WKWTTG move house so also got up!

We had a special guest today, Canon Andrew White, who is vicar in Baghdad at St George's Anglican church.  He talked during the sermon time. His talk wasn't really a sermon, it was more telling us about life in the middle East.

He has faced persecution on a daily basis for most of his career in Baghdad. Most of the time if people wanted to persecute him in the past, he would invite them to dinner and often they would turn out not to want to hurt him anymore. Now, when he says that to ISIS, they would have his dinner and then kill him- they don't play by the rules.  Children and adults, his children have been killed for their faith over the last 10 years- around 1276 in total.

He started off by contextualising the reading from Habakkuk- apparently, he was the one who visited Daniel in the lion's den to bring him food.  He took a risk to help Daniel. In the beginning, everything started so terribly for Habakkuk helping but in the end, he rejoiced..

He said that when people tell him to take care when they say goodbye, he says that he can't take care or how can he help.

The point is, if we always take care of ourselves and don't take risks, how does anything change in the world?  We have to try and put ourselves out there and try to change things.

Am I facing persecution in my faith? No! I might put off my blog friends and readers who don't share my faith, by talking about it. Hey, have you already stopped reading? I'm a Christian- that's the way it is. But persecution- what a coward am I for not doing more, taking risks, sharing, trying to change things, trying to love, live acts of faith.  Opposition is nothing compared to that faced by people in the middle East? What opposition do I face? Not much. Why don't I do anything to help people? Lazy, apathetic, distracted?   One way of taking risks is to love our enemies, no matter how horrid, nasty or barbaric they seem (it is very hard to love ISIS- how loving I must become in order to do that.).

Despite persecution, despite death threats, the people who persecute them, he is called to love, to feed, to educate, to clothe, to tend to, to look after, despite anything. Daily risks to love on a daily basis.  Only then do things change.

At the time, it might be easy to give up, to think, "I can't do this!" but change can and will come in the long term.  I trust in God as does Andrew White and his flock, but perfect love casts out perfect fear.   He coined a catch-phrase: "Take risks, don't fear, the Lord is here."

His talk was surprisingly short, but it was a powerful message.

xxx

#BEDM 31: The end is nigh!

And so this 31 day unrelenting stint of blogging is at an end! 31 days on the trot! Kind of a relief it's over but I am really glad I have done it. Any sort of talk of going on some sort of emotional, mental journey leaves me cringing and thinking of the X-factor/Strictly and over reality TV shows so I won't go down that route, I don't think I've been on a journey but I've poked my nose into a few more doors than usual, but it has been an interesting experiment. I largely stuck to the briefs each day with a few digressions into other posts

I did try to set out with the intention of visiting the other participants and I probably managed about half of them (that's about 60!) and left comments on those who had comment settings that allowed me to but in the end, I just couldn't.  I had a few, not a huge amount of other BEDMers coming to reciprocate, but I appreciated those who did, most notably, the wonderful Zoe Pennyblossoms , Lizzie Cole, Janet B , Liz, Zoe Splodz, Laura Lojo.   I even gained a few followers which for my slow moving follower list is astounding!  Thanks to Laura, Zoe Splodz, Liz, Lynn Holland, SENCO Cat Herder, Rebecca, Carville, Two Squirrels and HI! Special thanks to my regular blog friends who have unrelentingly commented, especially Ivana and Denise who have literally been daily on here with insightful, caring and supportive comments and there's more of you too!

I followed a few, including Liz at Distract me now please, Zoe at Splodz Blogz and Laura at Lojo versus the world, all of whom are great, so please go and say hi!

In doing BEDM, I had a look over my past posts and realised I didn't have as much variety as I thought, quite a lot of mediocre outfit posts, over time I've got a bit lazy, though I have consistently waffled for England so I think it was good to make myself consistently blog about a few other things.

In trying out beauty blogging, I didn't find it quite as dull as I thought it would, so you never know, I might just occasionally post about something I like, I definitely would like to do some more collaborating as I loved my interview reciprocally with Zoe at Pennyblossoms and I think it would be fun to collaborate more.  It was fun to think about travelling with the A-Z of travelling post and I liked trying to link things I wanted to post about with the briefs such as a bluebell expedition turning into a philosophical discussion tenuously linked to healthy living.  The worst post was about my work space. If it isn't pretty or doesn't create a story, it doesn't excite me. My favourite post was probably my photographic visit to Mersea Island and I LOVED sharing the talents of the wonderful Ang Almond with my question mark shirt!

During the course of BEDM, I've met up with 3 bloggers (2 still to be posted about), been to a wedding, disappeared off to Devon for a week as well as normal life!

So, onwards and upwards- I've got a ton of things I want to post about so whilst I would relish a kind of break, I really don't want to, I'm a glutton for punishment or an addict-delete as appropriate!

BEDM, it's been a blast!!!

xx

Comic sans

Tis a strange thing. I am so used to wearing a hat pretty much all the time (even indoors. I sit here typing in the handknitted beanie from Sunday's post) that I really can't cope when I am not wearing one in the winter (and in the summer). I am like a snail setting forth without a shell! When I was in Northumberland in the Christmas break, I was in Hexham with J to have lunch with her and friends and I nipped off to Clarks to go and fetch some shoes I'd ordered in the sale.  I went into Clarks and in the 5 mins I was out of the car, the thought running through my head was "Ahrgh, no hat. Am. So. Cold!" so consequently, when I went into Mountain Warehouse to pick up some walking boots (mine have mysteriously vanished. Tis truly bizarre. I literally have no idea where they have gone!!!), I also picked up the turquoise hat. A few years back, I had a wonderful Angora Baker Boy hat in this shade and that also mysteriously went missing.


Where oh where is the land of lost things?  Enid Blyton wrote about it in her Magic Faraway Tree books- I'd like to find it.  There are fair few other things I lost down that hole over the years. A beautiful Pierrot doll I adored when about 4 years old that I used to sing to and cradle like a baby. A pretty rose ceramic pendant and earrings that my lovely flute friend Rachel gave me when we were leaving windband as a kind present. So many lost things, that I genuinely have no idea where they went.



I received this wonderful dress for Christmas from my Daddy and Stepmum.  I was really pleased with it. I do think Cath Kidston prints get better and better. I definitely have my eye on the new ricrac dress and skirt and the cloud dress! Always wanted a garment with clouds on! Not going to buy them though!


If you look closely, you will see Cops and Robbers going on. What fun!

Decided to over do the turquoise to go with this- Topshop tights (old) and my DMS and then a charity-shopped necklace and cardie.

I had year 1 this morning for PE. It was UTTERLY freezing!!!! Bless them, the little mites, they gallantly bounced their balls, trying to create a smooth, fluent movement.  Not one complained about how cold it was (I made them wear jumpers and coats) but just got on.  After playtime, we revised the polka we had been learning the last week and then had great fun as I set them up as a sort of 'orchestra' in that we sat in instrument groups in a semi-circle with me as conductor in the middle, trying to work on accurately playing the polka rhythm only when their section was pointed at, OR when I showed everyone had to play.  They were so diligent and when I had modelled the process of conducting and choosing sections/groups to play, counting in and stopping signals, I let several of them conduct. It was utterly beautiful to see them leading confidently, the joy in their faces as they realised they had total power over the rest of the class. The class, of course, were delighted to be conducted by their fellow 5 year olds, and so sat up conscientiously and watched carefully, playing only when shown.  I took a few photos and you could see how alert (and meer-cat like they were!)
At the end, I was telling them about how the players in an orchestra follow and respond to signals, just like they were and then as a plenary, (i.e. moving the learning on) showed them how a conductor shows if he wants the orchestra to play loudly or quietly. I asked them to play in unison and see if they could respond. Myself and the TA's who were with me were utterly delighted at how they responded instantly to my change of gesture going suddenly from a gentle repetition of the rhythm to a strong and robust sound! I've taught Year 1 about the polka for a few years now, but I've never taught it the same way, and I am really glad I tried it like this, this week! A different approach can suddenly find the way to teach something or make it more engaging.

At lunchtime, I had my recorder clubs. We're learning a set of pieces for the borough's recorder festival and we were learning Amazing Grace.  They weren't really getting the rhythm and said so,  so I decided to try a Dalcroze Eurhythmics approach to the problem. I asked them to follow me and step the rhythm around the room (it was like Kate Bush meets the Pied Piper) we did a set of steps, leans and runs to the music. They loved the fact I was making them doing some random hippy movements and miraculously, when we came back to the recorders, all of a sudden, the tune was pretty much perfect!  The delight on M (the one who voiced a particular, "It's too hard!"before) suddenly delightedly burst out: "I did it right!!!".  We then began working on Bach's Minuet in G and I decided to try a similar approach (the first half has a pattern of rhythms) and stood in a circle and stepped the rhythms in terms of steps, leans and runs and what is quite a hard tune, (they have to do higher pinched notes on the recorder) sounded pretty good!

Not tried that before, but again, sometimes a new approach makes something different, simpler, easier, clicks more.

Have you tried a new approach to anything recently? Did it work?!x

xx

From the deeply philosophical to the cheesiest of chicklit!

Hello!  I have read quite a few books but I keep forgetting to document them!  Eeek!!!
I hope you are well today!  I had quite a satisfying day today even though it was hard work and I had no lunch break etc!  I ended up teaching Guided reading in year 1 (an experience), my orchestra behaved themselves and got on, my choir were super superstars, a colleague had a heart-to-heart with me about something that was worrying her (a privelege that she trusts me), I taught science to year 4, Databases in ICT to two seperate Year 5 classes and a great session at my homegroup from church. All in all, great!

20. Jostein Gaardner Maya

This book deals with a story told from 2 perspectives. Frank, is a bereaved Norwegian Biologist who ends up in Fiji.  He meets a strange Spanish couple who are completely in love with each other- they seem to speak of high, mysterious, philosophical concepts and ideas.  Frank is instantly intrigued by them.  We hear of his grief and slowly how he learns more about Ana and Jose.  Another narrator is a bereaved English journalist.  Some memorable moments are Frank's conversation with a grumpy gecko, the idea of how a painting is the key to the mystery and some explanations of life!  This book can blow your mind in many ways with its philosophical ideas and debates but it is truly amazing and special!  I don't quite understand the ending but I certainly loved it!  It contains that magic that all Gaardner's books contain and makes you look at  the world in a different way.  Highly recommended.

21.  Sophie Kinsella The confessions of a shopaholic

After all that deep thought, I needed something a little frivolous.  Becky is a total shopaholic who is funny, endearing and highly in debt. As the book continues, Becky seems to get more and more in debt and less able to deal with it.  As someone who is ahem- fond of shopping, I identify with several events in this story although at times you just think"Noooooo, what are you doing!?!?!?!?!!"  .  I don't have credit cards so I did kind of want to shake her at times to say, "Stop!" when she maxed out yet another one!  I liked the love story running alongside Becky's issues and the conclusion of the book was brilliant! Gleefully recommended- it only took an afternoon to read.

 

22.Carola Dunn - Dead on the water
The grown-up version of Enid Blyton for adults!  The lovable Daisy Dalrymple finds herself embroilled in yet another mystery as she and her fiance, Alec Fletcher of Scotland Yard try to have a weekend in the country. The thing I love about these books is that nobody nice ever does the crime or means to!  It's always the ones you'd prefer it to be! Great fun!

Have you read any of these!?  Are there any books you could recommend to me?

Thanks to http://www.amazon.co.uk/ for the images.