Saturday morning I was SO CROSS. I went to bed at around half midnight and was exhausted, having not had as much sleep as I needed this week. What time did I wake up? 5am!!!!! WHY???? I lay awake for hours until I gave up and got up around 7.40am to go downstairs to do the washing up and make tea. After various bits of tidying and pottering, emptying the compost etc, I went to shower and CBC and I made porridge. I then carried on with some sorting as well as a bit of reading and then decided to do my Summer/Winter wardrobe changeover. I keep the out of season clothes in 2 enormous (I mean ENORMOUS) suitcases kept in my Spare room wardrobe. The switchover took a couple of hours and also involved some sorting and culling- managed to cull about 20-25 items- I find this hard- I like the things I own but I also like the new things. I decided to cull some things that a) I didn't wear so much including a gorgeous Monsoon sequinned circle skirt and clothes which I find I don't enjoy wearing so much e.g. if they are too tight around the armpits, synthetic, make me sweat or I don't like the fabric so much. I have realised in recent years, I am quite hypersensitive to materials and how things fit or feel (Ha, my stepmum could have told me this - she still has nightmares about me and, quote- "That wretched white cardigan!" that I was always trying to get out of!). However, often, I don't realise what something will feel like or how I will fear, until I've worn it for a day, or a couple of times.
The service was a really beautiful service and Steph who led the sermon gave such a powerful sermon.
My main two takehomes from this were: We take each day as it comes. In the Lord's prayer, we ask for our daily bread, not our weekly bread and we must react to God's placement of us. Trying not to worry about next week doesn't mean the same as not being prepared for what is coming. Also, revisiting the past and imagining different outcomes or choices can be a form of self-harm - I needed to hear that as I often end up thinking about what I should have/would have/could have done.
Had lovely chats to friends after the service, including my lovely neighbour Morris who is 97. I took him round some Lily O'Brien chocolates 2 weeks ago as he was unwell and able to attend church and he was so grateful and said he'd never had chocolates like them before.
I came home and got started on the washing up from last night (yes, I am a slattern..) whilst listening to a lovely Radio 3 programme with Rupert Everett and his Desert Island discs and then decided to do some sorting through the cupboards and try to get rid of some out of date baking ingredients and try and rationalise the chaotic pantry. It's a bit better. Chucked a few things to compost and also packed a few things for school as flour can be used for Playdough and 15 year old mung beans and aduki beans can be used to make shakers. I then made a pot of tea and crumpets. Next I rehoovered the floor and then washed the kitchen, utility room and hallways (they really, really needed it) as well as getting on my hands and knees scrubbing stains with sodium bicarb and an old toothbrush. I folded up clean washing and put it away and then hoovered the living room whilst imprisoned by drying floor and polished the piano and repositioned the house plants. CBC came home from cycling and thankfully, the floors were almost dry and he was careful (usually, he tells me not to be a drama queen when I freak out when he walks in and makes a mess). I washed the upstairs bathroom floors and then hoovered the dry floors to pick up the extra bits that were revealed by washing and hoovered the bedroom.
I then went into the garden and pulled out the remaining tomato plants and bean plants, weeded the raised bed, pulled out the canes, raked leaves and put them onto the raised bed to mulch (wish I'd gone to collect more oak leaves from the field behind our house as there weren't enough to cover the bed...I will then put compost on top and then maybe put cardboard on top- if CBC doesn't moan - he has Opinions about things like this looking messy (even if the advice came from an expert) -picked the last pepper. I then came in and ate some brie, chutney and crackers and sang some songs and played piccolo and piano with CBC for some carols and then went to practice my piccolo for my orchestra rehearsal tomorrow (poor neighbours). A bit more tidying and then finally, the house was looking calm and more ordered. I have found it really hard to function as the house has felt and looked so dirty and messy and I feel soothed by having done all this cleaning and sorting, even if I haven't 'rested so much